The Art Of Redemption
by Carl The Monkey
Summary: Post LS. What if everything Rose fought for was for nothing?  DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
1. Life

Everything changes in fairytales- the heroine becomes the princess, gets her prince, defeats the evil villain and lives happily ever after in her castle. I often wander why life isn't like a fairytale, it would be much simpler. I imagine myself as Cinderella, because not only does she get her prince, her castle and defeats her evil step-mother, but she also gets a really awesome pair of shoes. I imagine myself dancing at the ball with my prince in all of his six-foot-seven glory, smiling one of his rare smiles as he literally sweeps me off my feet. But I don't plan on befriending any mice in this lifetime- the one downer in this Cinderella story. Although, I do like to think of myself as more of a Pocahontas type- the exotic princess, and when you come to think about it, my situation with Dimitri is more like hers with John Smith- they both battle everything that they grew up believing, everything they were taught, all to be together. Sound familiar?

The difference's between these fairytales and the reality that is my life: these princesses got their prince, lived in their castle and lived happily ever after- something that has not yet happened to me, but I keep hoping my prince will fall and hit his head to get some sort of sense knocked into him.

Everything changes in life.

Yet, everything's exactly the same. You would think that after everything I've fought for: the man I love, my freedom, hell, even my sanity that my efforts would make a difference. But, regardless of what has happened in between, I'm still in the same position I was two years ago: protecting my best friend, in love with the most unsuitable man and resisting the darkness of spirit from driving me into insanity. The list is endless.

Not long after Lissa's coronation and things at court had began to settle, Dimitri admitted that the monsters from his past still haunt him, and he has to battle them on his own.

"I love you, Rose. It'll never fade" were his words to me.

If he had said those words to me two years ago, I would have retorted with the typical Hathaway snark that usually emerges when I'm in a situation that is either uncomfortable for me to be in or when the situation at hand hurts too much. This was the latter.

But unlike two years ago, I understood Dimitri's inner turmoil. Like him, I had my own demon's to fight. Even though I forgave myself for Victor Dashkov's death, I still felt overwhelming guilt when I thought about him. Even though he was my enemy, he was a person and I murdered him out of cold blood, regardless of the role that spirit's darkness played.

It's ironic how dhampir's are taught our whole life to fight monsters, but the toughest monsters to fight are our own.

Despite my understanding and respect towards Dimitri's decision, I was still broken by it. Not only because of the immense hope that filled me that we could finally be together- just like we always had planned- had come crashing down, but also because of the amount of people that I hurt because of that hope. I had risked everything for Dimitri, everything.

And the outcome was nothing.

Nothing but emptiness, loneliness, grief and guilt.

Not only had I broken the law and killed people, but also left someone I love with a broken heart. My biggest regret- my only regret, is cheating on Adrian, because unlike with victor, I was in full control of my actions regarding Adrian. I cheated; I went against everything I morally believed in for my love for Dimitri and cheated on my boyfriend. And in the end I lost everything. Not just the man I love, but also one of my best friends and most importantly: myself.

I was so caught up in the whole 'Dimitri drama' that I lost who I was, the fact that I was accused for murdering the queen didn't exactly contribute to my already unstable sanity.

After my whole stunt of breaking out of jail, things were looking up: Lissa was queen, I was her guardian and I was with Dimitri, and he shattered my whole world. Other than Lissa, Dimitri is the only one that can fill me with so much love. A love so powerful that love itself is all I need to survive, love that is so strong that with it, I could do anything- accomplish anything. It was Dimitri's love that sent me to Russia, not Adrian's money. But he is also the only one that can crush me, and his words did, even though I knew that they were unintentional, and despite Dimitri's reassurances that he loves me, and I know he does.

I was broken.

It was then that I felt the familiar buzz of emotions from Lissa. We have many theories about how the bond reformed, one being that when I 'died', the bond "burned out", similar to what happened when Lissa healed Dimitri back into a dhampir, but since I healed on my own, the bond took longer to reappear. But, like anything spirit related, we took it in our stride and dealt with it in the best way possible.

At any rate, as complicated as things may seem, we've all fallen into a routine. Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Dimitri and I: one big happy family.

Honestly, the fates have a sick sense of humour.

Regardless of Lissa's queenly responsibilities, she attends Lehigh where she studies political law with Eddie and I, being her guardians. How she juggles her classes, homework, and a life and still manages to rule the moroi world is beyond me. I struggle with the classes alone, let alone what Lissa achieves.

I've fallen into life as a guardian with ease: I was meant to be a guardian, I was meant to guard Lissa, despite my attitude and the tendency to speak my mind. I am held with respect at the royal court and other guardians acclaim me with the same respect as someone beyond my years, with decades of experience. And despite my past transgressions, my status at court was influential; I had become second in command, and worked closely with Hans- much to his dismay.

It was a sudden knock at my door that complicated my already complicated life further.


	2. Unexpected Circumstances

Wrapping a towel around myself as I got out of the shower and made my way to the front door of my apartment, hastily picking up any dirty laundry and throwing them in my bedroom for me to get rid of later. Looking through the peephole, I saw someone I never expected to see at my doorstep, especially in jeans- Adrian Ivashkov. What shocked me further was the expression on his face- he was nervous.

The Adrian Ivashkov I knew was never nervous.

The thought of the inevitable conversation ahead of me made my stomach queasy, in fact I was deeply considering not answering the door, not only in an attempt to avoid an unavoidable conversation, but also because I didn't want my first encounter with Adrian since he broke up with me to be this soon, especially since I wasn't mentally prepared for the guilt I will undoubtedly feel later and because I'm also naked. Talk about awkward.

Sighing, Adrian knocked again, this time harder and more desperate than before. He ran a hand though his stylishly messy hair- the only sign of annoyance on his perfectly composed face.

"Rose, stop undressing me with your eyes and open the door." He said with his typical bad-boy smirk, looking straight at the peephole. Groaning, I reluctantly opened the door. The fact that he called me by my name instead of 'little dhampir' shows me his seriousness, regardless of his banter. Looking at Adrian now, I see how much he's changed in only one short year. His hair is longer, not as long as Dimitri's, but it hung more in his eyes and the expensive highlights it once had were barely noticeable, leaving his hair it's natural brown. His eyes were still the same mesmerising emerald just as I remembered, and when I opened the door, they sparkled.

Unlike I last saw him; he was not in some expensive suit, but instead sported jeans that probably cost a down payment on a house. This was coupled with a simple white polo shirt that, like his jeans, was most likely ridiculously expensive. I don't know how long we stood there drinking each other in, but it seemed like forever. I didn't realise how much I missed Adrian until this moment. The uneasy feeling in my stomach returned, followed by the overpowering guilt. It filled my body and ripped my heart into pieces and my eyes filled with unshed tears. Adrian must have noticed the change in my demeanour, because pain and regret flashed though his eyes before he broke eye contact with me and looked down at his shoes. I opened my mouth to say something, to say all the things I've wanted to say to him but never got the chance to. I wanted to tell him how sorry I am for what I did, to tell him that not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about how hurt he was, and the look on his face when we spoke last- the look that showed his whole world crashing before him. That look haunted me in my dreams. I wanted to tell him how much I needed him, especially the past year. I'm the sort of person that doesn't like to show weakness but in this very moment, I was weak. And this was plainly displayed on my face like a neon sign for all to see. The tension became thick and palpable, and I felt the sudden need to make a snarky comment to break it, but this seems to be one of the rare times where Rose Hathaway was truly rendered speechless. Coming up with nothing to say, I stepped aside and wave my hand into my apartment as a sort of welcoming gesture, stepping inside, he made his way to the lounge, shifting uncomfortably obviously thinking of something to say.

"I'll be out in a minute" I call as I desperately make my way to my bedroom to change. Closing the door behind me, I lean against it and attempt to regulate my breathing before throwing the first piece of clothing on and making my way into my lounge room, taking a seat on the recliner opposite him. After a few minutes of torturous silence, I finally build the courage to say something I've wanted to say for a year.

"Adrian I'm so-"

"Forget it, Rose" he interrupts. He looks at me then and I see something I never expected to see in his eyes- happiness. Pure, unadulterated happiness. I was confused, a minute ago I swore he was going to yell at me, tell me everything I deserve: I'm selfish, inconsiderate, unfaithful- everything he told me when he walked out on me. This sudden shift confused me, my confusion must be written all over my face, because Adrian chuckled and to confuse me even further, extended his hand for me to shake.

"I'm Adrian Ivashkov," he said, a small smile playing on his lips. Not knowing what to do and strongly suspecting that Adrian has finally lost his marbles, I extend my hand and shake his.

"And I'm Rose Hathaway, did you knock your head on your way here?" I asked.

"Not that I remember"

He just chuckled again and I felt like the punch line of some big joke.

"Oh, and here I was thinking you were suffering from temporary amnesia, but now that we've established who we are, we can move on with our lives" I retorted, rolling my eyes.

"Little Dhampir, this is me starting over. I want to start everything from the beginning but do it differently; the way it's supposed to be. The past year has helped me put everything into perspective and that includes you, Rose." The sincerity and determination in his voice shocked me. Not only had Adrian's appearance changed, but he has as well. He has become the man I always knew he could be, I could see that now.

"What do you mean by 'perspective'?" I asked. Adrian has always made his feelings for me clear and I didn't like the thought of that getting in the way of the relationship I wanted us to have- as friends.

"Rose, you are one of my greatest friends, I don't want to lose that and I'm sorry" he said, his voice becoming more desperate with each word.

"You're sorry? How can you be sorry, Adrian? I screwed everything up! I screwed things up with you, with Dimitri!" I exclaimed. Sighing, I got up and made my way to the kitchen to get some water. Dimitri, it was always Dimitri. The amount of nights I spent re-evaluating everything from the time he brought us back to the academy, to the stolen kisses, to the time in the cabin, to him turning strigoi, me going after him, saving him and our situation now; I wander how everything panned out the way it did, why it turned out the way it did.

"Dimitri?" I hadn't realised what I had said until Adrian said his name from behind me. Silently cursing at my inability to not think before I talk, I turn to face Adrian, who is wearing the same confused expression I had before.

"What about the cradle robber?" Adrian asked. When I didn't elaborate, he continued.

"Are you saying that after everything- everything with him being strigoi, you turning him back and your little honeymoon when you escaped from prison that you aren't together?" his temper was rising. He was looking at me expectedly, but I said nothing. Dimitri was a touchy subject, I spoke about it with no one, not even Lissa who has made many futile attempts for me to open up about the whole situation. It doesn't help that I have to work with him. The next thing I knew, Adrian wrapped me up in his arms and traitor tears were running down my face, giving Adrian the answer he was looking for.


	3. Dimitri

**A/N: I know I've posted the first three chapters quickly, but because it's my final year at school, posts will be made sporadically depending on the weight of my schoolwork. Sorry guys. So enjoy. And please review. I want constructive criticism.**

Adrian stayed for hours. We stayed up talking for who knows how long, it wasn't until I let out a belated yawn that Adrian decided it was his cue to leave. Getting off the bed, he grabbed his shoes- sneakers of all things- and started lacing them up was when I asked the dangerous question that has been lingering behind my lips the whole night.

"Why did you come back?" we had covered all the topics- his life, my life, even the weather recently but we didn't dare swim in dangerous waters and instead stayed at the shore and played with our heads in the sand. He must have been using all of his brain capacity to tie his shoes because he didn't reply. I was about to ask again when he answered.

"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. If there's one thing I hate, it's when people answer my questions with questions. Adrian stood up to face me, anger radiated off his face. I couldn't read him, I used to be able to read Adrian, not as well as Dimitri but close enough to know what he's feeling and where he's heading with what he's saying. Now it's like I'm talking to him for the first time.

"Adrian, it's been a year. It took a whole damn year for you to knock on my door. You didn't call to say hello, hell, you didn't even come to me in my dreams! What do you expect me to think? That this 'starting over' thing you've got going is going to change anything? Why the sudden change of heart?" I exclaimed, arms flailing in the air as I walk around my room like a crazy cat lady. It was selfish of me. How could I yell at him for not coming back to court? He'd lost everything, he lost me, his aunt had been murdered, it's not like he's friendly with his parents or the rest of the Ivashkov clan. But I couldn't help myself. I needed Adrian. When I finished my little rant, I finally looked at Adrian, who had his jaw on the ground at my outburst. I had a feeling that Adrian didn't just get up one morning and think "Hey! That Rose chick, yeah, I might go see her", no this was a long time coming. Adrian went to say something, but I guess he couldn't find the words, sitting on the bed; I waited for him to continue.

"I, uh, I- I met someone" he stammered, not making eye contact but finding something interesting on the floor. At first, I was shocked but then I realised that this was the reason Adrian was happy earlier, why he was so easy to forgive me about everything. And the thought of this made happiness swell inside of me. I was so happy. I had always told Adrian that he would find someone, find his "Dimitri" and he never believed me, he told me I was the one but I was already taken, but I was right, as usual, and now seeing the goofy grin on his face, I know it's true. But I couldn't help the lingering jealousy in the pit of my stomach. Adrian could be happy, but I couldn't. It was petty but I had not control over it.

"It's Sydney" Adrian blurted as he fixes his dishevelled clothes from lying on the bed, but it didn't really work, it looks like he- well it looks like he just had sex with a monkey. With that image in my head, I burst out laughing, no longer able to contain it. I was seriously rolling on the floor and holding my stomach, tears trailing down my face and snot most likely running down my nose. When I finally stopped I looked up I saw Adrian giving the "Rose is crazy" look I've become so accustomed to, his attention then shifted to my bedroom door, following his gaze, I meet the bottomless brown eyes of Dimitri, who was trying to hold back his smile.

"Hey comrade?" I say, but it turns out to be a question. I was curious to know why he was here this time of night.

"I heard a woman yelling and thought you were killing Ivashkov" He answered, crossing his arms and leaning against my doorframe. If I didn't know any better, I would say that Dimitri just made a joke. Adrian grunted from behind me.

"Nice to see you, too, cradle robber. Still breaking hearts, I see" his tone was light and flippant but I knew there was some seriousness underneath his casual air. I froze, I could not believe that Adrian just said that, especially now of all times. He knew that the relationship Dimitri and I have is rocky and, even though we act like we get along, there is still tension. Turning around, I glared at Adrian and he cowered in fear, knowing I was going to literally kill him.

I turned back to Dimitri with a pained expression on his face, but it was gone as soon as it came and replaced by his emotionless mask. Turning his back, he made his way to my door. Not even glancing at Adrian, I run after him.

"Dimitri!" I grab the sleeve of his duster, but he wrenches it out of my grasp and continues to his room across the hall. He was about to close the door but I got to it just in time.

"Dimitri, don't listen to anything Adrian said, he doesn't know what he's talking about." I plead. He wasn't looking at me, his eyes were on the floor, but he wasn't focusing on the present, he was far away, probably at a time when things were simpler, easier. When I was back at school and he was my mentor and the most complicated part of our life was Lissa and us guarding her. When we first fell in love. I revisited that time more often then I care to admit, because it kills me that Dimitri is so caught up in his guilt that he doesn't realise that he has received a second chance at life- to live and love. I remember him telling me that he feels guilty that he got a second chance and he did all those horrible things, created nightmares for many families, and killed so many innocents. I know that Dimitri will eventually learn to live again as soon as everything he did as a strigoi no longer haunts him, I often wander if they will ever stop haunting him, and until they stop it puts us in the exact predicament we are in. Without looking at me, Dimitri walks into his apartment, leaving the door slightly ajar, and seeing this as an invitation, I follow him. This is the first time I've ever been in Dimitri's apartment, he's been in mine numerous times, talking about guarding, training and planning security for when Lissa leaves court, but I've never been in his. Like his room at Saint Vladimir's; his apartment was tidy and organised. Everything had its place and nothing was where it shouldn't be. His bookshelf was lined with his western novels and photos of his family back in Russia, all of them smiling at the camera in genuine happiness. Seeing them now made the ache in my heart become more prominent. I often thought of the Belikov's, of my time there. Even though they aren't my family and I'm no longer with Dimitri, I still considered them mine; being there with them is one of the rare times in my life where I've felt completely at home. Turning around, I didn't see Dimitri anywhere, walking into the kitchen, I see him take two mugs out of his cupboard, followed by four sachets of hot chocolate. Smiling, I sit on one of the stools on the other side of the kitchen bench and watch him make us hot chocolate. When he was finished, he handed me a mug and we sat in silence and drank. I was thoroughly reminded of the time during field experience when Dimitri also made me hot chocolate.

"Doubling is the secret" was what he said to me.

"I'm sorry, Rose," Dimitri suddenly blurted. His sudden outburst shocked me; Dimitri was always in control, following his thoughts rather than his feelings. It wasn't until I saw his expression that I realised he was truly sorry.

"Dimitri, I told you, don't believe Adrian, he doesn't know what he's talking about, I honestly think spirit has permanently affected him"

"But he's right, isn't he Roza, I hurt you?" I was too preoccupied with the fact that he called me Roza to realise that he asked me a question. Then the weight of his question dawned on me, I couldn't lie to Dimitri, he'd know straight away and, I didn't want to lie to him, he was the only one who understood. When I didn't answer, he just sighed.

"You miss them?" The question took me off guard, not only because I didn't have a clue what he's talking about but also because Dimitri was never one to avoid dangerous subjects, he always pushed me to talk about things I didn't want to talk about, so the sudden change in subject caught me off guard.

"Miss who?"

"My family- your family" he answered, looking at me for the first time tonight. Like the question, the answer was unexpected what confused me more was the fact that he referred to them as my family.

"Have you spoken to them?" I asked, it was one of the questions that has always been nagging in the back of my mind since he turned back. Looking at his empty mug, he sighed.

"Yes, they miss you- ask about you all the time. I don't blame them, you're a daughter to them," he whispered, I didn't understand the change in him. Like Adrian, he has become more difficult to read. One minute he's cold, the next he's hot. One moment he's the fierce Dimitri I love, the God, then he's suddenly the Dimitri that he is now- the one haunted by his past as a monster.

"I'm not their daughter anymore" I whispered, when I was in Russia, Dimitri's family treated me like a daughter, because to them I was their daughter simply because I loved their son. I was apart of the family, regardless of the fact that Dimitri was strigoi and we weren't married. Their easy acceptance of me was part of what made me call the Belikov's family. I don't know why I just admitted what I did. Ever since Dimitri ended our 'relationship', I no longer considered myself their daughter because my only tie to them was Dimitri and that tie was severed when he called it quits. What shocked me more was the sadness in my voice. I guess I never knew how much I loved the Belikov's, and the thought of losing them made my heart ache even more than it did when I thought about them.

Like with Adrian, the silence was eerie, unbreakable and cold, like ice. Nothing was spoken, yet the silence said everything, I could tell that Dimitri was trying to keep his emotions in check, what I said effected him because we both know that no matter what happens between Dimitri and I, the Belikov's will always consider me their daughter. It was Dimitri that broke the silence.

"You'll will always be their daughter, no matter how stupid they think I'm being" he was still looking at me, but that made things more difficult because the pain etched in his face was unbearable. But I couldn't help but laugh at his words. The thought of Yeva yelling at Dimitri and hitting him over the head with her walking stick was such a funny picture in my head, especially since Yeva is five- foot- nothing compared to Dimitri's six foot seven. My sudden outburst shocked Dimitri.

"I'm sorry, why do they think you're being stupid?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"It doesn't matter. You should go and visit them; maybe we can convince Vasilissa to take a trip to Russia for the holidays" again, he avoids the subject, this is the first time Dimitri and I have been alone and not discussed anything guardian related.

"Maybe" I didn't want to see the Belikov's while I'm in the situation that I'm in with Dimitri.

All of a sudden, Dimitri was right next to me, grabbing my shoulders so I could look at him.

"They will always love you, Roza."

"I know, I should get back to my apartment. It's late." I say, not making eye contact. Being in close proximity with Dimitri was exhilarating on it's own. But being this close to him and not being able to be with him is torture fabricated from my personal hell. I needed to escape.

≈X≈

As I go to open my door, I noticed Adrian must have locked it behind him, and since I was too preoccupied with Dimitri, I didn't have my key. Silently cursing, I turn and knock on Dimitri's door, again silently cursing at whoever was watching us from above. God must have a personal vendetta against me. Dimitri answered the door, obviously in the middle of getting ready for bed.

"Rose, what's wrong? Are you okay?" he was examining me, looking for any injury. Honestly, I was getting dizzy from his mood swings.

"I'm fine, I just need my key." I gave a key to Dimitri, since he was right across from me and because, unlike me, he was responsible enough to not lose my key.

"What key?"

"The spare key I gave you in case I didn't have mine."

"Rose, you never gave me a key. You told me you would but you never did. I just thought you would've given it to Vasilissa instead." It all dawned on me now. The spare key was in my draw next to m bed, I had been meaning to give it to him, but kept forgetting. Great, looks like I'm sleeping on the hallway floor. I'm going to kill Adrian.


	4. Monsters

I woke up to Dimitri screaming. He was thrashing around in the bed and mumbling incoherent nothings in Russian between his screams. Confused at what I was doing in bed with Dimitri, I didn't realise I wasn't dreaming until the rational part of my brain woke up to remind me.

Sweat covered his chest and drenched his hair.

"NO! Roza, No! Don't kill her!" he screamed. My higher reasoning kicking in, I move to his side of the bed, grab his shoulders and shake him.

"Dimitri! Wake up!" he didn't wake. I continued shaking, pleading for him to wake.

"Dimitri! You're not there anymore! It's Rose, I'm here. Wake up" unshed tears filled my eyes as I pleaded, I never fully understood the horror's he was facing until now.

"I'm here, Dimitri," I whispered. He stopped thrashing and his eyes fluttered open, and he looked at me but didn't say anything as the terror of his nightmare faded and he became more alert to his surroundings. Not knowing what to do, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to my chest, running a hand through his sweaty hair in a calming gesture. His breathing steadied, but I couldn't stop the lone tear that escaped my eyes. The tear ran down my cheeks and landed on Dimitri's forehead. He looked up to see another tear falling and caught it with his finger. Mentally slapping myself for my moment of weakness, I hop off the bed, into his bathroom and searched his cupboards until I found a hand towel that I wet in warm water before returning to where Dimitri sat on the bed, head hung low, lost in thought. Careful not to make any sudden movements that may startle him, I sit on the bed and wipe the sweat off his face with the towel. When I finished with his face, I moved on to his chest. I hoped the warmness of the towel was calming to him. When I finished, I climbed onto his lap and lay my head on his chest, desperately praying to the Gods above that Dimitri would get through this. He had made progress when I escaped prison, but he still had a long way to go. After a couple of minutes of silence, Dimitri sighed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer towards him and rested his head on my shoulder. I felt him calm underneath me and I was ecstatic that I still had this effect on him, scared that he'd moved on in the past year. Dimitri's hand moved up my arm until it reached my hair. Twirling a strand in his fingers, he smiled sadly.

"Beauty" he simply said. "Focus on the beauty" he said this like a mantra. It was the exact thing I said when we were in the alley trying to get information on the where-abouts of Sonya Karp. Looking at him, I smiled, trying to reassure him that everything will be okay.

Returning my smile, he cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

"Sleep Roza" He whispered. Nodding I untangled myself from him and went to his wardrobe and pulled out one of his shirts before undressing out of my jeans and jacket to change. I didn't bother to go into the bathroom both because I was too tired to care who saw me and because I didn't mind Dimitri seeing me in my underwear. I walked to my side of the bed and slid in, ignoring Dimitri's following gaze. I rolled on my side, back facing Dimitri when I felt his strong arm wrap around my waist and spoon me to him.

"Thankyou" He whispered in my ear before his breathing steadied and he began silently snoring.

**Please review!**


	5. Surrender

**I'm sorry it took so long to update but school is pretty hectic at the moment. Enjoy. Please Review! **

Nausea swelled up inside me. _Lissa_ was my first thought- find Lissa. My eyes gazed into the darkness of the surrounding trees, the moonlight illuminating through the canopy, shadows danced in between the trees, disrupting the still night. The only sound was my heart thundering in my chest, pumping adrenaline through my veins. A sudden movement in my peripheral caught my attention.

"Well, look who we have here, Jonah, if it isn't Miss Hathaway herself. It's a pleasure if I do say so myself, Rose." The strigoi greeted casually as he strode out of the darkness of the surrounding forest and made his way towards me. My hand automatically reached for my stake at the small of my back.

"The pleasure's all mine" I purr, smiling seductively towards the strigoi, or at least the poor excuse of a strigoi, standing in front of me. It was clear he was a human before he turned, and even then he would be considered pitiful. His shirt had looked like something off the set of a Beatles music video and had definitely seen better days; add that to his long matted hair that took split ends to a new level and the lovely hole in his shorts that displayed his charming "Team Edward" underwear completed the delightful scene before me. At least we know that he's at least changed is underwear in the last three years.

"Don't flatter yourself, Hathaway" the one named Jonah sneered, "Cliff, don't waste your time with this bloodwhore, we've got bigger fish to fry" he didn't break eye contact with me as he spoke to Cliff, who was slowly making his way towards me, hoping that my attention was fully focused on Jonah who, at this moment seemed to be the one with a more prominent position of power. He made his move just before I did, but instead of lunging for him, I pounced towards Jonah and grazed my stake along his face. He fell back, his piercing screams echoing throughout the surrounding trees. I turned and lunged at Cliff and, in one swift move, plunged my stake into his heart. When his body became limp, I turned to Jonah who was still on the ground, maybe he wasn't that much of a threat after all. When he saw me approach, he got up and managed to kick me in the stomach, curling over, I grabbed my stomach as pain laced with my nausea. Seeing this as an opening, Jonah grabbed my hair yanked me towards him, teeth closing the distance with my neck. In a desperate need for a distraction, I kneed him in the groin with all my remaining strength. When he momentarily doubled over, I used the opening to slide my stake into his chest and pierce his heart. It had all taken less than two minutes. Running from my post on the outskirts of court grounds, I call the front gate.

"Close the gates!" I yell as I reach the main guardian office. My instincts roar obscenities at me to go to Lissa and surround her in a barricade of guardians and fire, but as second in command, I have other duties I need to fulfil before I can be her personal guardian. Opening the front doors, not bothering to close them behind me, I walk straight past the secretary and, despite her protests, burst into Hans' office. To say I was shocked at the scene before me was an understatement; a half naked woman was on his desk. She turned around at my arrival and I realised that it was Amelia, Hans's wife who was a court guard.

"_Buria"_ I say, my breathing becoming unsteady. In a flash, Hans and Amelia are off the desk, clothed and out the door, stakes in hand. As they make their way out the door, I open the first draw in the desk and push the small red button that will automatically send messages to every phone of every guardian on the premises. The message said that same thing I did when I entered the office: _Buria._ Storm. In the countless seconds I was in the office, guardian headquarters had become an organised chaos. Groups were assembling for both defence and offense against the strigoi attack. "Hathaway!" Hans barks, motioning me towards him and a group of guardians, one of which is Dimitri.

I hadn't spoken him for a week, a rarity for us seeing as we work so closely together. When I woke up that morning, the bed was empty; the only thing that convinced me of Dimitri's presence was a note and a key on my bedside table. The note was short- all business, saying that my locks have been changed and that he had the other key as a spare. Pushing all my thoughts of Dimitri aside, I move towards Hans, who was looking at me impatiently.

"Hathaway, I want you on the north border with Williams, Sakson and Belikov. It has been confirmed that the wards are down and court is under lockdown. Stop as many from entering. Go." Without another look at us, he turns to the next group before I could protest. I was missing out on guarding Lissa to monitor the borders of the court? Usually, I would voice my opinion in a situation like this, but that usually gets me into trouble, like being framed for murdering the Queen. Sighing, I turn towards Scarlett Williams, Elliot Sakson and Dimitri, "Sakson, Williams; stick together, we'll split up and cover as much of the northern border as possible" My voice was stern as I told them my orders, they nodded obediently as we hastily made our way towards the northern border. I'm sure Hans will send out more groups but until then it was only four of us to cover the whole north border, this way, more of the border was covered and the guardians weren't alone in defending themselves. I also paired myself up with Dimitri so that I can keep an eye on Lissa. We were on the path of the front gate, we could see it in the distance, and Sakson and Williams made their way off the road and into the surrounding forest towards their section of the border. "Keep me posted," I yelled after them as Dimitri steered me in the opposite direction. His face was all business, guardian mask firmly in place and an expression I have not seen since we were on the run: the fierce, calculating expression that said he'd kill anything that tried to harm anyone he loved. This Dimitri was the God Mason told me about.

"Call Lissa" he said, scanning the area, I knew there were no strigoi around. I didn't call Lissa, instead I called Christian and he, too, was all business when he answered, "Talk to me, Rose" he said, serious for once.

"Strigoi are in court, I need you to take Lissa to the church. I know the court is under lockdown but the church is only down the street and you can handle your own. You'll be safe there." I was in strict guardian mode now, when it came to Lissa's life, there was nothing to take lightly, and there was no joking. I had a feeling that Christian was nodding through the phone, so I continued. "Go into Lissa's wardrobe" I instructed, "on the third shelf there is the hideous pair of boots I bought Lissa for her birthday, inside the left boot is a silver stake. Get it and Lissa and run, don't stop unless confronted and _do not_ try and play hero, Christian. Protect Lissa." I tried to show Christian my intense need to protect Lissa in my words. I needed him to know that I trusted him and that I needed him to do as I'm saying, all for Lissa's safety. If it's one thing Christian and I agree on; it's protecting Lissa. "Okay, we're leaving now, and Rose- be careful"

"Goodbye, Christian" I hoped it wasn't the last.

Turning to Dimitri, who was still on watch, he hands me a stake from his duster and I put it in the side of my boot as a spare and take my stake out from the small of my back again. The stake that killed Tatiana was never returned to me, and, to be honest, I didn't want it knowing that it took a moroi life, but I was still upset from my loss. That stake was a reminder of the sacrifices I took to have the ones I love standing next to me. It was my reminder to keep fighting and never stop. When Lissa became queen, she had the hilt of my new stake engraved with a rose entwined around it, and I loved it, even though I tend to dislike rose things.

I scanned the border of the wards- even though they were down, Dimitri and I did not go past the wards. We would not go looking for strigoi and provoke them into an attack, we wait and attack when attacked, much to my dismay. Every fibre of my being told me to hunt those sons of bitches down and stake them, but if there's one thing I've learned; it's that there's a time and place to act out irrationally and this wasn't one of them. After an hour of leaning against a nearby tree and twirling my stake, I impatiently call Hans.

"What is happening?" I ask incredulous at the lack of action around court. Hans seems to be as confused as I am, "I have no clue, Hathaway, the wards have been breached and there has been no attacks apart from the two you took down. Guardians are searching the court for any strigoi, once we've conducted a thorough search and we find nothing, we'll put the wards back up. I want you to stay at the border, I'll call you soon." And with that, he hung up. Groaning, I sit against the tree and try to ignore the tension present between Dimitri and I. the past hour has been spent in total silence, something I personally can't handle without going crazy, but Dimitri seemed to be lost in thought, even though he was still on high alert for any oncoming strigoi. I had no idea to what he was thinking about since his mask was still firmly in place.

Sighing, I continue twirling my stake while keeping an eye on Dimitri in my peripheral. After a few minutes of continued silence, I discretely clear my throat, hoping Dimitri will pick up on my mood. I've been worried about him since that night; I had not seen Dimitri that vulnerable since the night in the alleyway, that Dimitri scared me. Maybe I am too ingenuous when it comes to my perceptions of Dimitri, and maybe I'm also biased. The Dimitri I know and believe in is a strong force of will to do the right thing and to protect those he loves. He is fierce and commanding, the voice of authority. He is a God. And for the past year I've been telling myself that that Dimitri still exists, he is just buried beneath all the horrors of a strigoi. My worst fear isn't Dimitri becoming strigoi, because that happened. My biggest fear isn't Dimitri telling me he doesn't love me, because he's said those words to me. And my biggest fear isn't Dimitri telling me that we cannot be in a relationship, because we're not. No, my biggest fear is the chance that I have been deluding myself for the past year. I refuse to believe that the Dimitri Belikov I knew is gone, that the Dimitri standing five feet away from me is a different man to the one who taught me how to fight, not only strigoi but also the waging wars that I had with myself when I was at school. The Dimitri Belikov that knows me like no other. The Dimitri Belikov I fell in love with. This is why I need to talk to him now, I can't seem to let go of the childlike hope that still dreams of the fairytale. He didn't even twitch.

Taking a deep breath and building up all of my courage, I finally open my mouth to say something, "Dimi-"

"Not now, Rose." Dimitri cuts off; he was using his mentor voice, he knew what I was thinking without even looking at me, he just knows me that well. Smiling, I start to get up from my place on the ground and suddenly someone behind me grabs my arms and jerks me against the tree trunk. Dimitri, seeing this, acts instantly, but he too, is held down by three strigoi that appeared out of nowhere. I struggle against the hold of my captors, hoping to seek an opportunity to attack. How could I not have felt them? Was I so caught up in my own uneasiness to talk to Dimitri that I disregarded my anxiousness and misinterpreted my queasy stomach for nerves? How could I be so stupid? As far as I could see, there were five strigoi surrounding us, one holding me against the tree plus the three holding Dimitri and the one in front of me. If I could get loose for a moment, I could easily strike the one in front of me since I had no yet lost my grip on my stake.

"Gentleman, can you imagine the glory we will gain by killing Rosemarie Hathaway?" he boasts as he gesture towards the surrounding strigoi. He makes his way towards me, grabs me by the neck and kisses me roughly on the lips. "I can" he whispers, smiling malevolently before he turns back towards the rest of the group. "And who better to witness her death than her lover" he continues, chuckling. Horror fills Dimitri's features, but they are gone in an instant. One of the first lessons he taught me was to not let the strigoi know your fear. I keep eye contact with him; and he gave the slightest of nods before I made my move. Without a second thought, I slash my stake against the arms of my captor whose agonising screams echo in the darkness. With that momentary distraction, Dimitri elbows the strigoi to his left in the stomach, while the strigoi that was making a toast earlier backs away from Dimitri and subsequently makes his way towards me, with his back to me, I have a clear shot of his heart and slide my stake into his chest.

My captor from before lunged at me, using all his weight to try to pin me, I swiftly move out of reach but he latches on to my hair and we both tumble. He must have been a dhampir before he turned; he has greater skill than the others and was harder to take down. But after my stake made contact with his heart, I realised that I miscalculated the amount of strigoi in the clearing. There was about twenty, Dimitri was fighting three and the rest were simply waiting on the shadows.

"Enough!" One of them boomed. "We need to leave, we have what we came for." And with that, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the trees, the others followed her, even the ones fighting Dimitri.

The sudden turn of events disturbed me, even Dimitri was confused. Abruptly, my phone rang.

"Hathaway" I answered. It was Hans and his next words shocked me more than the unexpected surrender of the strigoi.

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	6. Change

**A/N: I was really happy with the amount of reviews/ hits that the last chapter received in just a day or so. It really motivated me to continue writing. So, instead of writing my biology paper, I am writing about vampires. So, please keep reviewing. More reviews = more chapters!**

I gazed into the pitch black sky as my brain attempted to comprehend the information that Hans just told me. My thoughts were spinning around in my head; a whirlwind of mixed emotions- horror, disbelief and lastly- fear swirled inside me. The world no longer existed; the recent strigoi attack or Dimitri watching me ten feet away. _Stop it, Rose! Get a hold of yourself!_ I chastised. _Everything will be fine._ I had to keep telling myself to believe that, because if it weren't true, everything I had built in the past year would come crashing down.

"We have to go," I said to Dimitri, not making eye contact. Dimitri sensed that something had gone wrong but was too afraid of what the answer to his question might be. But his curiosity got the better of him. He opened his mouth to ask what had happened, when I beat him to it.

"Tasha's escaped" I exclaimed. The calm demeanour I had been hoping to portray faltered and all of the anxiety underneath my mask had pushed through the surface. I did not yet know the extent of the damage, and to be honest, I'd rather live in ignorance. Dimitri's disbelief mirrored my own, then it dawned on him: Tasha was working with the strigoi. It was the only explanation for their attack other than a mere coincidence, and I don't believe in coincidences. The worst thing about Tasha framing me of murdering the queen was her selfish motivation. Her feelings for Dimitri compelled her to try to dispose of me in hope of being in a relationship with him. If you were to ask me, I'd say she's crazy. I mean we always joke about how girlfriends can miraculously disappear and we are the one's who console the hot guy in their time of grief, but we don't go beyond joking. Actually trying to kill the girlfriend is psychotic. And that plan never works, trust me. Dimitri had lost one of his best friends. Second to me, Tasha would have been the one person that could help him throughout anything, especially now. And the thought of his best friend working with the very monsters she worked her whole life to destroy is just too agonising for him to even imagine. But I hadn't told him the worst part yet.

"Dimitri, we have to go. There's an emergency guardian meeting followed by a council meeting. It starts in ten minutes and we're at least twenty minutes out." I said this as I began to walk out of the clearing that we were guarding. Soon enough, the wards will be back up, but I'm not concerned about any more strigoi attacks. They came for Tasha, I was sure of it. I noticed Dimitri's silence. Not only that, but Dimitri is usually one to spring into action as soon as he needs to, now he seems withdrawn, broken, but he was also watching me, he could tell that I was hiding something, not only because of my facial expression or his uncanny ability to read me, but my quick pace back to court grounds alerted him to something I was hiding.

All of a sudden, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the shadows of the trees.

"Rose, what are you not telling me" his guardian mask was firmly in place, and he was using his mentor voice. The voice that made strigoi quiver and showed everyone not to mess with him.

I took a deep breath before I answered. "Jill's missing," I whispered, not making eye contact, "She was with Adrian when the strigoi broke into the wards, they were on the outskirts of court and didn't know the wards had been breached. They saw Tasha and the strigoi escape and they attacked Adrian and kidnapped Jill. The meeting is to figure out how to bring her back… or hunt her down." I said each word in a rush, again, looking everywhere but Dimitri. After I finished, his grip on my arm tightened before he abruptly let go and continued his way through court. I followed, but at a safe distance.

We entered the meeting fifteen minutes later thanks to our talk in the woods. It seems that every time we are going for a walk through the woods, we are surrounded by destruction and death. The walk reminded me of the one Dimitri and I had taken after the strigoi attack at school. Hans was already in the middle of his brief when we arrived.

"… Mr Ivashkov claims to have seen Miss Ozera with the strigoi before he was attacked, he is in a stable condition- only a mild concussion but Princess Dragomir is missing. I have four search teams around the wards and a head count is underway. Hathaway, now that you've joined us, I want to see you and Belikov in my office. The rest of you clean up and rest. It isn't necessary for you to attend the council meeting. We will meet again in three hours to discuss the plan. You are dismissed." As the guardians filed out of the small room, Dimitri grabbed my hand and led me to the front where Hans and my mother were looking over a map of court. After I was shot, my mother was reassigned to my father so they could "re-evaluate their relationship with each other and with their daughter" as they put it. Since my father spends most of his time here to participate in a new hobby that he found- annoying me, my mother also spends her time at court.

"I don't want Rose on this mission, Hans. She's just settled in court after Russia and her escape. This could be too much for someone young," If my mother had said that to my superior years ago, I'd probably respond with giving her a black eye. But I could not deny the underlying worry in her tone when she spoke to Hans. At our approach, my mother and Hans turned around. I couldn't help but notice the small frown in Janine's expression when she saw our laced hands.

"I am capable to find Jill. I owe it to Lissa to keep her sister safe. I need to find her, so tell me the plan." I didn't give my mother the chance to answer because I began searching through the court plan that my mother and Hans were just looking at.

"Adrian and Jill were on the outskirts of the south entrance to court when Tasha escaped, but the wards were first breached near the north of the wards. That means that the strigoi were trying to throw us off by first attacking the guardians near the northern wards while they smuggled Tasha out through the south." I explained, pointing at the marks on the map. "But the wards weren't breached on the northern border. I was right there; I would've noticed a stake. Even if I did miss it, Both Dimitri and I scouted it a second time, as well as Sakson and Williams. Did they find anything?" I asked Hans. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he was contemplating our theory.

"No. A stake was found on the west border, near the old guardian lookouts, the strigoi could have entered through there and headed north while they smuggled Tasha through the southern border," I couldn't help but glance at Dimitri at the mention of older guardian lookouts, amusement sparkled in his eyes when they met mine, but that was the only display of emotion on his face. I contemplated Hans' theory, but it had holes in it.

"The strigoi wouldn't be able to pass through the southern wards if they were not broken, that means that they were breached as well. Even if there wasn't a stake found, the humans working with them could have taken it when they left." Even though it was possible, the thought of humans taking a stake with them after they broke the wards sounded odd. They had no use for it.

"It wasn't humans working with the strigoi," Dimitri stated, chiming in for the first time in the meeting. At first, I didn't understand how it could be anyone but humans working with the strigoi, since strigoi cannot touch stakes. Then it hit me.

"They're Dhampir's." I stated. Silence followed my statement, but Ethan Moore's involvement in Tatiana's death proves that Tasha is compelling enough, as a leader to influence even dhampir's to work alongside the strigoi. This concept was a frightening one to grasp. If dhampir's were working alongside the strigoi, it would give them a greater advantage, not only in defence but to minimise the loopholes we depend upon to destroy them.

"That changes things," my mother whispered.


	7. Nets

**Okay, so here's the first chapter. I decided to post it now cause I'm absolutely swamped with assessments and probably won't have a chance to post it for at least a week or so. :/ It's been nearly two weeks since I posted a chapter so I'm sorry. This is the only writing I've done in that time. Enjoy, Bitches! Jokes. This chapter is for **_**Olivia Williams**_** for making her cry**__**and **_**Tiarocks55555**_** for convincing me to get the stick out of Dimitri's ass… sort off. **

**REVIEW!**

I hesitated before I opened the hospital door, although Adrian only had a mild concussion, the other guardians informed me that he put up a fight but was no match to the superhuman strength of a strigoi. What had been slowly eating me alive was my curiosity of what Adrian was doing in the woods with Jill in the middle of the day. I have to admit that I suspected that something was happening between them before he left court, but my suspicions disappeared along with Adrian.

After the meeting with my mother and Hans, I wanted to rush to Lissa and see if she was okay- even though the bond constantly reminded me of her safety, it wasn't the same as actually being there- but Hans wanted me to talk to Adrian and see if he remembers anything that may be useful in finding Jill.

As I went to turn the handle, curiosity sparked through the bond. I hadn't realised until now that Lissa was in Adrian's room, I was too occupied with my own worries of both Jill and Lissa that it clouded my judgement of her presence. Searching Lissa's head, it seems, like me, that she's also confused about the little meeting in the woods. At first, Lissa simply suspected the same thing I had before Adrian left: that Adrian and Jill were together. Lissa didn't like that thought, not only because of the way things ended with Adrian and myself, but also because the age differences between them, which is approximately eight years.

When she came to the hospital to visit, she planned to confront him, but Sydney's presence at his bedside threw her off completely. More so at their laced fingers and Sydney's obvious concern for an evil creature of the night- an unusual reaction for her.

Sighing, I finally turn the doorknob and enter the room, before I could fully cross the threshold; I was tackled by Lissa, who was apparently happy to see me.

Her piercing squeal echoed through the room, "Rose, thank God. I was so worried."

"Me too, Liss" I whisper in her ear.

Loosening her grip, I make my way to Adrian and sit on his bed, and for the first time in his life, Adrian didn't look in some way groomed and handsome. Bruising covered his face and the fraction of his arms that were not covered by the revolting hospital gowns that they are compelled to put you in, my theory is that they want to dampen your mood as much as possible so you will limit the amount of treatment you get in hospital- if you have the worst possible experience, you won't come back.

A large gash ran along his cheek, one that would most likely scar. The scary part was that- like Tasha's- it only enhanced his beauty, or at least it would when the bruising clears up.

"How are you?" I ask. Adrian smirks at me. "Is that worry I hear, Little Dhampir? I can die a happy man, now. Rose Hathaway actually cares." I go to hit Adrian when I hear a snort from behind me; I turn and glare at Sydney, who simply grins at my reaction. Yep, these two are definitely a match made in heaven, or hell.

"Can I ask you something?" I direct to Adrian. "You just did" was his reply, as he lights one of his clove cigarettes. Sighing, I grab it out of his hand just in time for the nurse to walk in.

"What are you doing?" she shrieks, looking at the cigarette in my hand.

"There is no smoking in here! Mr. Ivashkov just went through a terrible ordeal that could've cost him his life, and you're smoking!" she continues, her voice becoming extremely high.

"Get out!" she yells at me before grabbing my forearm and shoving me outside. As she tries to push me out the door, I yank my arm out of her grip and face her.

"Listen lady, your precious Mr. Ivashkov was the one lighting up after his terrible life threatening ordeal, I was simply stopping him. Are you going to kick him out?" I snap.

By the time I had finished talking, I had the nurse by the collar and her eyes had glazed over in fear, it took all my strength not to laugh evilly at her. _Rose! _Lissa interrupted me through the bond_ Get a hold of yourself! This isn't going to achieve anything but get you in trouble._ I smirk at the nurse before I let her go, as soon as my grip loosened, she rushed out the door.

"It's okay," I say to Lissa, "I'm a good friend of the queen," Lissa rolls her eyes before I turn back to Adrian and slap him across the face.  
>"You dipshit! You can't smoke; you're pumped with who knows how many drugs! Now, what were you doing in the woods with Jill?" I ask, getting straight to the point so I can go home and rest. I was tired and the darkness from the spirit Lissa used to heal some of Adrian's injuries was getting to me.<p>

At the mention of her name, Lissa's worry and grief over her little sister became overwhelming. She was angry with herself for not taking care of the only living family member she has left, how can she protect and rule the moroi world when she couldn't even take care of her little sister? Then she thought of Emily, how broken she will be when she finds out her daughter was taken by strigoi when she entrusted Lissa with her safety. With these thoughts came the lurking darkness in the back of her mind, the darkness that would soon become all consuming, the same darkness that was the catalyst for Lissa's behaviour back at the academy, where she would cut herself and be in the fast lane on the highway to hell in the form of a white padded room- the same insanity that we saw when we broke into Tarasov prison.

The presence of this darkness worried me, the last thing I wanted was for Lissa to go back to that downward spiral that nearly killed her several times, without another thought, I took the darkness from her. I felt a ripple in the bond as the darkness poured into me.

I clenched my hands into fists and willed the darkness to the back of mind, I needed to gain control before I lashed out and did something I'd most likely regret later. I concentrated on my breathing and when I felt myself relax, I squeezed Lissa's hand reassuringly.

I hadn't realised until now that Adrian had noticed the whole thing, he was looking at me with a worried expression, then at Lissa, and back at me. It wasn't until Sydney hit his arm that he realised he still hadn't answered me.

"Oh, right. Jill and I were just catching up. We hadn't spoken since I got back so we had lunch and took a walk in the woods just like we used to," his posture and flippant tone made him seem indifferent about the whole encounter, like there was nothing to it and he was simply "catching up", but I knew better, Adrian doesn't just "catch up". Lissa came to the same conclusion, but I elbowed her in the side before she could say anything.

"Is there anything you can tell me that can help me find her?" I ask seriously. Pain was clearly etched in his eyes as he answered me, "No, Rose. There's nothing I can do to help her" a single tear slid down his scarred cheek at his words. Jill had become one of us since it was announced she was a Dragomir and she moved to court, this was painful for all of us, even Adrian, who hadn't been here for nearly a year.

I kissed Adrian on the forehead and hugged him "You did everything to help her, you would've died if you had the chance, she's lucky to have you," I whispered to him. "Hey, Rose" Adrian called as I turned to walk out of the room, "I'm sorry about the other night with Dimitri, it was stupid of me to say that." He was sincere about his apology; I gave Adrian a small smile before I asked Lissa if I could talk to her outside. We walked past the nurse's station, where I was met by the glare of the nurse that kissed the ass of every Ivashkov. I gave her a sweet smile as I passed and sat in the waiting room with Lissa.

"A full investigation is underway to find Jill, you don't need to worry." I say, reading her thoughts. "But that also means that I'm leaving court to find her. We are having a search team stay here and try to find where Tasha is staying, while my team are going to scope out her house and the various properties she owns. As far as we know, she's still in the country, but I have a strong suspicion that she may to go Russia-"

"Why Russia?" Lissa interrupts. It was the same question my mother asked when I brought up my suspicions in the meeting.

"She decided to frame me because my dislike towards Tatiana was a widely known fact and because of her jealousy towards my relationship with Dimitri. My theory is that Tasha met Dimitri in Russia and most likely spent time with his family, so she'll go to Russia because it's the only place she felt accepted and had a family." I explained, not looking at Lissa, but out the window that displayed the bustling court outside.

"Are we still talking about Tasha?" Lissa asks. I look back at her, confused. "Yes, who else would we be talking about?" she didn't answer me, but looked at me oddly before getting up off her seat and facing me.

"Forget it, you're tired, go and sleep and tell me before you leave so I can set up more security" her voice was cold and distant when she spoke to me, like she was addressing one of her associates on the council. I didn't understand the sudden shift, but I decided not to question it.

"Don't worry about it, I'll set it up before I go. Goodbye Lissa." And I left without another glance.

By the time I got to my door, my feet were dragging on the floor, and my eyelids were heavy from no sleep. As I walked into my apartment, I didn't bother turning on the light in my living room and quietly made my way to the kitchen to get some water. As I made my way to my bedroom, I tripped over an article of clothing on the floor and spilt my water all over my shirt. Groaning, I slip the shirt off and throw on the floor before reaching over to turn my light on. The first thing I saw was Dimitri's sleeping form on my lounge.

Ignoring him, I make my way to my bedroom, change into my pyjamas and return to my living room where he is still snoring peacefully.

"Dimitri!" I scream in his ear. He jumped and stood up, ready to face his threat. I simply giggled, his hair was dishevelled and covered his face, and the duster he always wore was twisted and tangled around him. When he realised it was me, his stance relaxed and he flopped back on the lounge. I sat on my coffee table across from him and crossed my legs while I waited for him to talk. I noticed how messy my apartment was, clothes were everywhere- the lounge, the floor- hell, there was a bra hanging off the television. I made a mental note to tidy my place up before I left court. Dimitri noticed the bra and smiled, but simply stayed silent.

"Listen, Dimitri you don't have to mention what happened last week. It never happened as far as I'm concerned. But I'm really worried about you" I started. I knew why Dimitri came to my apartment, he didn't have to say anything; all he had to do was show up. I looked up at him to show him the extent of my worries for him, Dimitri had been a constant on my mind from the day I met him, but after I saw the nightmare he's dealing with, all I think about is him, and how I could help him through this just like he helped me with Victor, like he still helps me with Victor by just being near me. I often wander if I have that effect on Dimitri. He is my safety net.

"Rose, you don't need to worry about me, I'm fine." It was the same line he's been feeding me for a year, and I'm sick of it.

"You're not fine, Dimitri. Because if you were, we wouldn't be having this conversation, you wouldn't have had that nightmare and we wouldn't be in this situation!" the darkness I was trying to suppress in the hospital had burst inside me, consuming all my thoughts and discarding the slight hold I had on my rationality.

"I respect the fact that you are still recovering from your time as a strigoi, but you'll get no where until you admit that you were a strigoi and that it's still affecting you." I was yelling at this point, seeing red and resisting the urge to rearrange his beautiful face. I've tried being the understanding and supportive friend. I've tried to be the caring "ex- girlfriend" and I've tried my best to see past this and move on with my life, but I haven't- I'm still in love with Dimitri as much as when we returned to court, if not more. I've accepted that Dimitri was a strigoi, I forgave everything he did to me as a strigoi without a second thought, simply because he was in no control of his actions towards me, but he is now and this is killing me more than seeing him as a monster.

"I want the Dimitri I fell in love with back. I need him back." I hadn't realised I said the last part out loud until I'd finished saying it, and I immediately regretted my words. I turned my back towards him, not wanting to see his reaction. I began to pick up all the random articles of clothing around my apartment and ignored Dimitri entirely.

I had nearly finished refolding them when Dimitri finally broke the silence.

"You're right. I was a strigoi, I know that, Rose. I have not been able to forget it, I've tried but it won't go away. It's all I think about, I just want to forget it- all of it. I want to be back at the academy, training with you, but I can't because I'm here." his voice was agonising, filled with pain. I suddenly regretted my outburst, it seemed immature and stupid but it got Dimitri talking.

"You won't forget anything, Dimitri," I say, as I make my way to him and remove his hands from his face. I wanted to be honest with Dimitri, lying to him would only fill him with the same false hope that I had been living on the past year, and that would only make things worse.

"You never forget, but you can learn to live with it, you have the chance to be happy again, so be happy and don't dwell on a past that you cannot change. Move on, Dimitri," Ugh, I sounded like one of his Zen life lessons; I sounded wise and profound, like Yoda. It must have had some effect on him, because he looked at me and smiled sadly.

"When did you become so wise?" he asked, I laughed at his question.

"I was just asking myself the same thing, maybe I've been spending too much time around you, I think it's beginning to affect my health." I joked, trying to lighten the dark mood. His smile became more genuine at my remark, and the thought of me making him happy made me giddy, happiness swirled inside. I realised how close we were, his hair was tickling my cheeks and my breathing became hitched as he leaned in and kissed me softly. It was over before it began, leaving my lips tingling and my heart racing.

"Go to bed, Roza" he whispers before he stands up from the lounge and walks out my door. I hear him lock the door before the apartment turns silent. What the hell was that? Did that just happen? Dimitri kissed me. Dimitri kissed me.

"Dimitri kissed me," I whisper out loud before a goofy grin settles over my lips. Maybe I was his safety net after all.


	8. The Mile High Club?

**OMG! A NEW CHAPTER! It's been three months, I know. But enjoy and, as always, my little monkeys, REVIEW!**

The early morning breeze flew through my hair as I made my way towards the courts landing strip, which was located east of the court. As I walked the long road towards the outskirts of the borders, the pink light of the sunrise reflected off the passing cars full of guardians that will also be leaving court. The flight ahead of me compelled me to walk to the landing strip rather than drive. I wanted to clear my mind of the unnecessary babble that flooded through it and focus on finding Jill and Tasha. Not only can I put my thoughts into perspective, but also build up my courage to fly. I didn't exactly have a fear of flying, more like a hesitancy too, because of the headaches that would undoubtedly arise as soon as we lift off. The after effects of Dimitri's kiss left me restless and unable to sleep last night resulting in me not only cleaning my apartment to its current perfection but also gave me the motivation to properly pack for today, rather than waking minutes before I'm expected to leave and throwing the random articles of clothing on my floor into a bag and racing out the door.

The silhouettes of the other guardians were growing in the distance, as they efficiently packed the plane in the stoic orderliness in which they ran all covert operations. I was about to run and assist them when an apprehensive voice called my name from behind me. I turn to see the shadow of Christian in the distance in his usual black attire. Curious, I run back to meet him, where he attempts to regulate his wavering breaths from trying to catch me.

"I know this is a bad time" he begins, "but I need to ask you a favour and you know I wouldn't if there was no need to" he continues, his face drowned in worry and frustration.

"Tell me." I persist, trying to hurry him so I can meet the others and also extremely worried of what he is going to ask me, Christian is rarely one to ask favours, because a favour indicates an inability to do it himself, and Christian's cocky personality doesn't usually allow him to admit he's incapable of doing something.

"I know you'll have heaps to do on this trip, but I need you to keep an eye on Lissa, she hiding something. Something big enough to keep from me, and you." Well, that was unexpected. Just by the tone of Christian's voice, I can see how difficult it is for him to ask this of me. His ability to read Lissa effortlessly means that he doesn't need a psychic bond to tell him her thoughts and feelings, it's a part of what makes his relationship with Lissa so unique, sort of like Dimitri and myself.

"What's going on Christian? I noticed she was weird yesterday but I think it might be because of Jill." I counteract, trying to reassure him.

"No, this has been happening for a while. Just please keep an eye on her?" he pleads desperately.

"Sure" I yell, as I was suddenly rushed onto the plane and plopped into a seat by my mother who suddenly appeared in that sheath way of hers. Sighing, I take out my mobile phone, ignoring the stern looks from the other guardians and quickly text Lissa before we take off, knowing she's still asleep for me to call, saying that we need to talk when I soon land in California, where Tasha's parents own a property. We decided that Tasha would not go back to her place since that's too obvious, so we decided to move on to less obvious locations.

My thoughts were interrupted by Hans, who begun passing out briefs of our mission to all the guardians. The plane was completely full, each seat was occupied.

"Okay," Hans begun, demanding the attention of everyone, "since there are forty-two of us, we will be split into groups of fourteen and be sent to different locations that Miss Ozera is connected to. We are searching places that are owned by her, her remaining family members and also those which have significance in her life." Hans cast a daunting look over the group, daring us to protest. Opening my folder, I saw that the whole group was going to California before splitting into small groups and catching commercial planes to various other locations to cover as much ground in little time. My group will be staying in California to raid her parent's house, before moving to Seattle, where she worked and had a previous boyfriend for three years before moving to Chicago, where Tasha currently lives. I couldn't help but notice that Hans didn't take my theory of Tasha going to Russia seriously. Looking over my seat, I see Hans talking to Abe at the back of the plane, how he was able to come is beyond me, my father seems to enjoy dangerous situations. Huh.

As soon as I approach my father and Hans, they stop talking immediately, but I ignore them.

"Hans, I really think that Tasha will go to Russia. You said in the brief that she'll go to places of significance, Russia is one of them." I insist, not breaking eye contact I hope that he will see my seriousness.

Hans sighs.

"We have no evidence that that is true, Rose. Guardian Belikov has not approached me, if it is of any significance, he would've mentioned it." His gruff tone was final. At the mention of his name, I glance at Dimitri, who is talking to Eddie over a western novel.

"While you're here, Hathaway. Since you're my second in command, I have left the new addition to our group to you. Keep him in line and show him the ropes, okay?" Hans continues.

"What new guy?"

"The one sitting next to you." Hans remarks before he turns his attention back to my father, who is looking at me with an amusing glint in his eyes.

"What you looking at, Old Man?" I pipe before I turn my back and ask Dimitri if I can have a word with him in the bathroom.

I didn't realise how small the aeroplane bathroom was until we were both cramped in there, especially with Dimitri. Grateful I could talk to him before lift-off, I began as soon as the door was closed, guardian mask in place, all business and showing no reaction to last nights kiss.

"Why haven't you mentioned Russia to Hans? You know that Tasha met you in Russia." I ask.

"I don't think that Russia is the answer here. Tasha needs to be practical and I highly doubt that she will risk Russia. And how do you know Tasha met me in Russia?" Dimitri retorts. Where else could they have met?

"Because she spoke about growing up with you, and you grew up in Russia." I argue frustratingly.

"This isn't the point Dimitri," I continue, ignoring the protests that are about to undoubtedly come out of his mouth, "the only link with what Tasha does is you, and besides, the fact that you 'highly doubt' that this is the answer means you're not completely sure. I have a feeling, Dimitri, Tasha is in Russia and I need you behind me on this." I plead. The air around us becomes stuffy at my speech, and something registers in Dimitri's eyes, as if he only just realised that we were alone, in a cramped aeroplane bathroom and our close proximity, of course I've always been aware of this. His eyes became hooded and his hand twitched at his side. He was going to touch me, I know he was, and looking in his eyes, I knew, that like me, he was remembering the kiss. That soft, innocent kiss that was so significant, everlasting. I closed the distance between us and ran my hands up his chest and he moved to touch my face, but clenched his hand in a fist and began to pull back when my father opened the door.

"Oh. Sorry." He whispers embarrassingly, before stepping back to let us out, me first, followed by Dimitri. However, before Dimitri could retreat to his seat, my father grabs his arm and asks for a word in the bathroom. Oh, God. I give my father a warning look as he follows Dimitri back into the bathroom; this is met by his amusing smile.

Groaning, I make my way back to my seat, grabbing water on the way. Sitting down, I remember the conversation I had with Hans and look to my left to see a dark man sitting next to me, as if sensing my gaze, he looks up and extends his hand for me to shake.

"Salvatore Russo, you must be Guardian Hathaway, I must say, it's a pleasure, I've heard so much about you" he says with a perfect Australian accent. And what a pleasure it was. His wavy dark brown hair was long enough to cover his ears, but not as long as Dimitri's shoulder brown hair. This was contrasted with his hazel eyes, which, depending on the way the light reflected seemed gold. His tanned, smooth skin complemented his eyes. It was pretty much an understatement to say he was not in any way handsome.

"Call me Rose," I say as I shake his hand, "I must say, with a name like Salvatore, you don't seem Australian." I blurt. He only laughed.

"You picked up on that, aye. I was born in Italy, but moved to Australia when I was four. And you can call me Sam."


	9. Tumult In The Clouds

**Another chapter, I finished my exams yesterday and began writing straight away I really hope you like it, please review and tell me what you think.**

To say that Sam wasn't in any way charming would be a blatant lie. His confident personality was a mixture of Adrian's uncaring one and Dimitri's intensity. It turns out that Sam's mother is Arthur Schoenberg's sister, at the mention of his late uncle's name, his eyes became hooded with grief, but it was gone before I could apologise for bringing it up. Apparently, his mother was visiting Arthur in Italy when she met his father and they fell in love. Unfortunately his father, being a moroi, was forbidden to see his mother and left, unbeknownst to him that his mother, Celia, was pregnant with Sam.

"See the Godfather sitting at the back?" I ask pointing to Abe, who spots me pointing to him, smiles, then returns to my giggling mother. Ugh.

"Abe Mazur? Don't tell me!" Sam looks between Abe and me, obviously catching the resemblance.

"Oh, my God. You're like… the spawn of Satan! You're Abe Mazur's daughter," Sam chuckles, looking at me again.

"Hey!" I proclaim, smacking his arm. "I'm not that bad"

"So," he states, guardian mask creeping upon his face, "This Tasha chick, I hear she's pretty dangerous. Isn't she the one that killed the Queen and framed you?" He asks me.

"Yeah, and she's got the best of both worlds, Tasha knows how to put up a fight, add that to a scheming mind and fire magic and we've got a bit of a predicament ahead of us. Add that to her intense hatred for me and we've got someone as dangerous as a strigoi." I say lightly.

"Because of that guy you're with?" He asks, I notice a hint of anxiousness in his voice but choose to ignore him altogether, choosing instead to glance over at Dimitri, who, as if he can feel my stare, looks back and smiles uncomfortably before retuning to his book.

"Attention, folks," The captain says over the intercom, "Sorry for the delay. However, we will be leaving in fifteen minutes, we are just waiting for Lord Ivashkov to make his way to the plane," Some of the guardians groaned at the mention of 'Lord Ivashkov' a.k.a Adrian. How on earth - why on earth is he coming? Doesn't he have a bottle of whiskey to attend to? Isn't he supposed to be in hospital?

"Wait. Why is a royal coming with us?" Sam asks innocently.

"Because Adrian has nothing better to do than make my life hell." I reply in a dull tone.

I slump back in my seat and wait for Adrian to hurry up and board. We've been sitting here for nearly an hour and I didn't even realise that we hadn't left court, some guardian I am.

Twenty minutes later, Adrian decides to grace us with his presence, his face lights up when he sees me at the front of the plane, he makes his way towards my seat and opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted, rudely, by a flight attendant.

"Mr Ivashkov. Finally, unfortunately you'll have to sit in the cockpit with the captain as there are no extra seats for you to occupy." She rushed, gesturing towards the cockpit door.

"That's fine," Adrian, responds humbly, "However, I require one moment with guardian Hathaway before I make my way," he continues. The flight attendant looks at Adrian sternly before continuing down the isle.

"Lil' Dhampir, I'm sorry I'm late. I was making this for you," he says as he hands me a silver charm bracelet with only one charm, a rose encrusted with rubies.

"Thankyou Adrian," I say, looking at the rose and ignoring the annoyed looks of the other guardians.

"I'm in your group so I'll be able to re - infuse it throughout the trip, I know you'll need it," he winks before making his way to the cockpit.

"You know, I didn't understand a thing about that whole conversation," Sam pipes up minutes after Adrian disappears into the cockpit. He moves to help me slip the bracelet on, his fingers brushing my wrist as he does so.

"It's a long story," I realise that Sam's hand is still touching mine but his eyes were elsewhere.

"I don't think that he likes me," Sam suggests, gesturing to my right. Following his gaze, my eyes land on Dimitri, who was staring our way, or at least Sam's closeness.

"I don't think it has anything to do with you per se," I say, still looking Dimitri's way.

"Is he anyone of importance?" The anxiousness returned in his voice.

"He's the reason that Tasha hates me." I state, looking at him to see his reaction.

"Dimitri Belikov? I didn't know _he_ was the guy. My uncle was very fond of him."

"If you knew his name, why didn't you say so before?" I enquire.

"I didn't know if you knew his name," Sam shrugged and pulled an iPod out of his bag as the plane's engines turned on.

Not giving his reply much thought, I relaxed in my seat as the plane took off. As soon as we were out of the wards, the throbbing pain appeared in the back of my mind, shadows danced across my eyes and my hands clenched the armrests on either side of me. I stayed like that for an hour; only moving to take regular sips of water to ease my nauseas stomach. I decided to attempt to sleep instead of just staring blankly at the cream leather of the chair in front of me. However, just as I started to fall into a deep slumber, a dark shadow fell over me. Opening my eyes, I see the glooming figure of Dimitri just watching me.

"Can I help you?" I ask, an annoying edge in my voice from being disturbed.

"I need to talk to you for a moment, Rose" He stated, gesturing for me to get up and move to the bathroom again. I, however, was quite comfortable in my seat,

"So talk," I say, only slightly interested. Dimitri glanced over to Sam before he looked back at me.

"In private, if we could" He says, teeth clenched.

Sighing, I move from my seat to the bathroom, disregarding Abe's warning glare.

I perched myself on the bathroom vanity and waited for Dimitri to begin, hoping we didn't end up fighting because I really wasn't in the mood.

"How's your headache?" He began. The question shocked me, to say at the least. Besides Adrian, I guessed that everyone forgot about my headaches.

"It's not as bad as it usually is, Adrian gave me a bracelet to subside the effects of spirit."

His only response was a slight nod. Dimitri just stood there, staring at his hands for a few brief moments, as if pondering how to continue. It was an odd concept for me to comprehend, Dimitri was always so full of wisdom and insight that was beyond my capabilities to think about. He always knew exactly what to say, so his uneasiness bounced off him and onto me, sort of like Lissa's darkness.

I was about to interrupt his deep thoughts when he spoke again, "Rose, the past year or so has been hell. For me, at least. But no matter how hard I try; I cannot seem to get over my experiences as a strigoi. I have spent the past year drowning in my sorrows but have never considered that maybe I have to redeem myself and fix my past transgressions." As he said every word, he kept eye contact, as if trying to show me his meaning. But I had no clue what he was talking about. I sat there, dumbfounded at the information overload. That was most probably the most that Dimitri has ever spoken at any one time. He could sense my bewilderment and decided to simplify it for me.

"I am going after Tasha. Alone. It is because of me that she is doing what she's doing. I owe it to Lissa, to you and to myself. When we land in California, I'm going to go to Russia. I know she's there that's why I did not say anything to Hans. I have to do this without the help of the guardians." At his last sentence, he broke eye contact with me. I didn't understand what he was saying. Is he leaving permanently? Because he won't be able to return as a guardian if he leaves, his guardianship has been in rocky waters since he got it back. Most of all, I didn't understand why he felt compelled to tell me. "Why are you telling me this?" I ask.

"Because if I just left, I know you'd follow me and most likely get yourself killed in the process."

"So, I'm not going with you?" I ask

"No."

"No?"

"No", his tone was final. Okay, so here's the thing. I have been trying my hardest to help Dimitri. I know what he's going through. I was there when he was a strigoi and I am glad that in some sense he is trying to move on from his past as a strigoi, but totally disregarding me is not the way to go, _especially_ when I have a headache. This has everything to do with me as it does him. She framed me because she is some psycho bitch.

"I'm coming." I state. "I know you're plan so if you leave without me, I'll just follow." My hands were on my hips and my tone was stern. Dimitri sighed in annoyance and ran a hand through his hair.

"Rose, I brought you here to confide in you, because I thought I could at least trust someone. I need to do this alone, respect that." I couldn't believe he was treating me like a student. I am his equal. "Don't patronise me, Dimitri. I have been nothing but considerate of your feelings, in fact –" I was interrupted by the flickering lights in the bathroom. Then all of a sudden, everything went black, screaming and grunts erupted from outside the bathroom door. I went to grab my stake but realised I didn't have it on me. I heard Dimitri curse in Russian; he obviously didn't have his either.

"What are we going to do?" I whisper, we had no clue what was on the plane, but either way, we weren't prepared for it. We stood there in silence before I let out a gasp. Turning to face the vanity I was just sitting on, I climb onto the sink and push against the ceiling until one of the random pieces of laminate that lined the roof gave way and lifted. Of course, Dimitri could've done it without having to climb.

"Give me a boost," I whisper, and Dimitri helps me climb into the venting of the plane.

"Stay here, I'll be back. Do not leave without me." He nods.

Slowly, I crawl through the tiny venting of the plane. For some reason when I heard the screams in the bathroom, I thought of Stan Alto.

Back in his class at St Vladimir's, we spent a whole term on the mechanics of various modes of transport; cars, trucks, bikes, boats and planes.

The venting, that can be accessed through the roofing of the bathroom, cockpit and storage surrounds the plane, especially a jet like the one we're in. So, if I manage to eventually find the storage of the plane, I can break into the supply of stakes so Dimitri and I can make an entrance into the plane and kill whatever is attacking it. I just hope I get there fast enough.

After twenty minutes of slowly crawling, I can see through an air vent the storage room, lit up only by an oil lamp. The shadows of people walking danced with the flame. Okay, I didn't think this through. I didn't know who these people were, if they were even people and why they were here. For all I know they could be wimps that thought that the court _really_ was a school for privileged people and decided to hijack the plane. If only it were that simple. I slowly try to wedge the vent out of its place, I have no clue why they weren't bolted in but I'm not going to complain. I was hoping to wedge the vent out slowly then make a surprise appearance, however the vent just fell and clattered against the steel floor of the plane. Cursing, I retreat a little and hide in the shadows of the vent. "What was that?" a female voice asks. "Vince, go look at it, probably just a mouse." She said nonchalantly.

"Why do I have to go? I don't like mice." A manly voice childishly complains. Uck. I could hear the heavy footsteps approaching me, all of a sudden a head popped into the hole where the vent once lay, his eyes glazed over in recognition and he opened his mouth to scream when I punched him in the face. His head flew back and I heard a crack before he fell back down. Using the distraction, I jumped down the hole and punched the woman as she ran to me. Looking around, there seemed to be no one else there, either way I ran to the storage unit and opened it with my key code. Taking out four stakes, I shove one in each of my boots and one in the small of my back. I was about to put the other in my pocket when I felt sticky breath on the back of my neck, turning swiftly, I stab the person in the heart for safe measures. Looking down, I see the dead gleaming red eyes of a strigoi looking back at me.

Damn.

How the hell did strigoi get past the wards? Taking a moment, I delve into Lissa's mind and see total destruction and her pulsating fear flowing through me. My heart momentarily stops beating. They're in the court as well. Running to the exit of the storage, I make my way up the stairs and into the main area of the plane. I end up making my way to the little kitchenette without any interruptions so I stealthily make my way to the bathroom and knock twice.

"Dimitri!" I half whisper, half scream. The door opens slightly and I slip into the darkness.

"It's strigoi." I state, "and they're attacking court, too."

I was about to re – open the door when Dimitri grabbed my shoulder. "Hold on, can you hear that?" he asks.

Listening, I realise that there was no noise outside. It was absolutely silent. Looking at Dimitri, he nods and I open the door. Walking outside, I first see my father, bloody and full of bruises, and held down by a strigoi. I scream and begin to make my way over to him before Dimitri, who is looking towards the front of the plane, stops me. Following his gaze, I see the woman from before grinning at us slyly. I was confused; I staked all the strigoi down at the storage before I left. I was about to say something when Dimitri beat me to it,

"Maria?" he asked in bewilderment. "I didn't know you were a… "

"Strigoi?" she finishes, "Yes, my mother turned me after she was awakened." She continued dispassionately. "Of course, now Sarah and I are alone thanks to you and your pet" she gestures towards me at the mention of his 'pet'.

"I think it's just you now", I chime in. Her face fell as she realised what I meant, then her eyes gleamed in anger.

"What do you want, Maria?" Dimitri asks uncertainly, as if afraid of the answer, which we all knew.

"Revenge" she states. "We want you to be re – awakened, and her dead" she states hungrily, gesturing to me. Then something clicked.

"If you want revenge, then you'd want Dimitri dead as well. You're working for Tasha, aren't you?" I piped in, surprised at my revelation. Shock registered in her face, before she turned back to Dimitri, who had put his hand on the small of my back.

"What are you going to do, Dimka? Are you going to let all these people die?" Dimitri didn't answer and instead trailed his hand further down my back until he reached the stake resting there.

"Dimka?" she questioned impatiently.

"No. No one is dying and I'm definitely not becoming a strigoi," Dimitri said calmly, then in one swift move, he flung the stake across the plane where it pierced Maria's heart perfectly.

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